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Funny Pages

26 Signs You Have Grown Up


Atom Entertainment (formerly AtomShockwave)

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them
 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed
 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator
 6. You watch the Weather Channel
 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook-up" and "break-up"
 8. You go from 130 days of vacation to 14
 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up"
 10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo
 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers
 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt
 16. You take naps
 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one

 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach
 19. You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests
 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff"
 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time
 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again"
 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
 24. You drink at home to save money before going to the bar
 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
 26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry ass.
 Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same