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ONE LINERS AND BUMPER STICKERS
Hell was full, so I came back
Honk if you love Hanson... then crash into a tree.
Save the planet, kill yourself.
Only idiots have bumper stickers.
Save a tree eat a beaver.
My kid beat up your honor student.
Horn broke watch for finger.
I'm a corporate executive -- I keep things from happening.
If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.
Lobotomies for Democrats: It's the law.
Bad Cop! No donut!
Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead -- He's electroencephalographically challenged.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
1998 Bumper Stickers
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Hang up and drive.
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.
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