WEBABOUT.COM  JOKE SHOP   SUBMIT YOUR BEST AND WORSE

JOKES & QUOTES
Welcome To My Trailer Park On The Web

Home Joke Collections Cute But Corny Not Quite Clean, Almost Dirty Men Bashing Women Bashing
USA Proud Quotes Funny Pages Jokes Jokes Jokes Oldsters Politicians Southerners Rednecks
Inspiration Christmas Holidays Religion Sound Bytes Video Clips Dancing Baby Downloads Spam Blaster

Joke Collections

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK IF ...

 

You know you are red-neck when your idea of fine dinning is a TV dinner

You know you are a red-neck when your
mom and dad met at a family reunion

Your car doesn't have any tires but your house does.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you

Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter

You think Liberation was that funny dressed guy who played the piano

You've ever stolen toilet paper

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor

You list your parole officer as a reference

You have to curl the sides of your cowboy hat
so your wife can ride in the truck too

You consider dating second cousins as "playing the field."

You paint your car with house paint

You've ever committed a crime with a lawn mower

You think espresso means eight items or less

Your trim your beard and find a French fry

Your satellite dish has more square footage than your house

Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom

Your wife would rather fish off a bridge than shop for clothes

There are tobacco stains down the side of your school bus

You've ever used pantyhose as a coffee filter

You think Roe vs. Wade deals with boat ownership

Your car breaks down on the side of the road
and you never go back to get it

You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside

Your riding lawn mower has cup holders

You think the Super Bowl is a top of the line bathroom fixture

You've ever asked a widow for her phone number at the funeral home

You've ever left Santa a RC and a Slim Jim

The last photos of your mama were taken from the front and the side

You have to mow your driveway

You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much

Your wife's hairdo has ever ruined a ceiling fan

You think "The dishwasher is broke" means your wife has no money

There are more than 10 lawsuits currently pending against your dog

You've ever been caught in a crossfire at a family reunion

You strip naked to the waist to eat barbecue

You have ever given your mama jumper cables for Mother's Day

You drove to elementary school.

Thanks To Our Contributors:

Kayla, D.Ayers


 

09/23/06