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Joke Collections

YO MAMA ...

 

  • Yo mamma so ugly, they filmed Gorillas In The Mist in her shower

  • Your momma is so fat and stupid,
    When you took her to the petting zoo
    She thought it was a free buffet
     
  • Yo momma so fat that when she put on a blue suit and
     jumped out of a air plane people thought the sky was falling


  • Yo mamma so ugly bigfoot takes pictures of her .

  • Yo mamma so dumb she trips ove da cordless telephone

  • Yo mommas so short you can see her feet in her drivers license,

  • Yo mommas so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade,

  • Yo mommas so old her birth certificate says expired,

  • Yo mommas so dumb she failed a survey,

  • Yo mommas so ugly she goes into a strip joint and they pay her to keep her clothes on,

  • Yo mommas so ugly she uses a line of makeup called ‘why bother’,

  • Yo mommas so fat her shadow weighs 100 pounds,

  • Yo mommas so fat she puts mayonnaise on her aspirin,

  • Yo mommas so fat when she goes into a restaurant she says ‘ok’,

  • Yo mommas so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway,

  • Yo mommas so old when she was at school they didn’t have history

  • Yo mama is so old, she farts dust

  • Yo moma is so fat, she doesn't take pictures she takes posters

  • Yo moma is so fat she had to put on lipstick with a paint roller

  • Yo mama is sooo short, she need's a step ladder to get to the mail box

  • Yo mama is so dumb, when she ask you what type of jeans you got on, you said Guess, and she said Levis

  • Yo mama is so stupid, she has to put makeup on her forehead to make up her mind!!!

  • Yo mama is so fat THAT if she wants a water bed then all she has to do is put a blanket across the Atlantic Ocean

  • Yo mama is so stupid
    • she got stabbed in a shoot out
    • she got locked in a grocery store and starved
    • she tried 2 put M&M's in alphabetical order
    • she thought boyz 2 men was a daycare
    • she missed the 44 bus and took the 22 bus twice
    • she went to the movies that said nc-17 (under 17 not admitted) that she went home and got 16 more friends
    • when she heard that 8 out of 10 crimes occur around the home she moved


  • Yo mama is so dirty, she jumped in the ocean and left a ring around the world

  • Yo mama so ugly, when people look at her they think its Halloween

  • Yo mama is so poor, I dropped a wash rag and had wall to wall carpet.

  • Yo mama is so dumb, the weather man said it would be chilly today and she went and got a bowl.

  • Yo mama is so stupid,she was held back in kindergarten for 18 years.

  • Yo mamma is so fat when she fell gravy came out.

  • Yo mama sooooo dumb, she went to the gap to get her teeth fixed!!

  • Yo mama is so fat, I had to use Onstar to reroute around her!

  • Yo mamma is sooo fat I walked round her and got lost

  • Yo mama is so fat, she has a peg-leg with a kick stand

  • Yo mama is so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell

  • Yo mama is so poor, when I went to use the bathroom I saw the roaches on the toilet singing "We are family"

  • Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said one at a time

  • Yo mama is so fat, before god said let there be light, he told your momma to get her fat ass outta the way

  • Yo mama is so fat, she plays pool with the nine planets

  • Yo mamas glasses are so thick, she looks at a map and sees people waving

  • Yo mamas glasses are so thick, when she looks at the sun her eye lashes catch on fire

  • Yo mama is so skinny she has to run around in the shower just to get wet.

  • Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she yawns, it slows down traffic.

  • Your mamas so fat she got hit by a bus, turned around and said "who threw that stone"

  • Yo mama is so fat Bigfoot takes pictures of her.

  • Yo mama is so fat she can sit in an empty bath tub and it will overflow.

  • Yo mama is so fat she has stretch marks on her clothes.

  • Yo mama is so bald the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.

  • Yo mama's house is so dirty the dust bunnies are ridin dirt devils.

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she plays hopscotch she jumps from Washington to Arizona to Texas to . . .

  • Yo mama is so stupid, when it said sign here she put Sagittarius.

  • Yo mama is so poor, when I came over and asked for the bathroom she said second bucket to the left.

  • Yo mama is so poor, that when I stepped on a micro-machine she said get off the family car.

  • Yo Mama is so old, she thought "Heavy Metal" was a cast-iron frying pan.

  • Yo mama is so dumb, she got run over by a parked car.

  • Yo mama is so ugly, when she went to the haunted house, they gave her an application.

  • Yo mama is soooooo fat that she can't wear Malcolm X jackets because helicopters keep trying to land on her.

  • Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on a scale it says "to be continued".

  • Yo mama is sooo fat, when she wears a yellow rain coat on a rainy day, kids think she's the school bus.

  • Yo mama is so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie on the couch face down.

  • Your mother is so stupid, she got fired from an M & M factory for throwing away the W's.

  • Yo mama is so fat that when she walks down the street, everyone follow her...not because she's popular, but because they can't get out of her gravitational pull.

  • Yo mama is so fat that when she goes swimming, everyone tries to roll her back into the water ....."Help push her back in...she's gonna die."

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she gets her shoes shined she has to take the man's word for it.

  • Your mama's so fat, that she could sell shade at the beach.

  • Yo mama is so nice, she'll give you the hair off her back.

  • Yo mama is so hairy, she looks like she has Don King in a headlock.

  • Yo Mama is so stupid, she studied for a urine test.

  • Yo mama is so dumb, she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif!

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to da zoo, da elephants throw peanuts at her!

  • Your mama is sooo fat, I'd have to take two trains and a bus to get on her good side.

  • Yo mama is so fat, she's on BOTH sides of a family.

  • Yo mama is so fat, when you slap her thigh, you can ride the wave.

  • Your mama is so dumb, she told me to meet her at the corner of walk and don't walk.

  • Yo mama is so hairy.... that her electric shaver has three settings:
    Light, Medium and Timber

  • Your mama is so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear to bungee jump.

  • Yo mama is so fat, you gotta grease the door jams and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

  • Your mama is so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she went to the beach she was the only one who got a tan.

  • Yo mama is so hairy....she's got afros on her nipples.

  • Your mama is so fat, she had to be baptized at Sea World.

  • Yo mama is so ugly, that when taken to the zoo, they thank you for bringing her back.

  • Yo mama got so many rolls, she can open a bakery.

  • Your mama is so ugly that when she was born, the doctor slapped her mama.

  • Yo mama is so poor, I saw her in the Kmart the other day trying to put a Slushee on layaway.

  • Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a theater, she sits next to everybody.

  • Yo mama is so fat, they had to reinstate Hands Across America so you could hug her.
Thanks To Our Contributors:

g.yates3rd, Rebers, apairof2, unitaren, Agentttaz316, John Miller, charise_phillips, Mike Tristan, Terrel McLofton, French Lester, Cutie1209, Oviedoyol, Bowwow0099, Jaydove11, DarinSoeung, T.Lovell, C.Geekie, Babiboy9212, LlnAnthon, Blakenunna


 

© 09/23/06