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Men Bashing

Comparison Between Men and Dogs

  

    WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

  • Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
  • Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
  • You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
  • Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
  • The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
    (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
  • Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
  • Dogs miss you when you're gone.
  • You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
  • Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
  • Dogs do not play games with you ----except fetch
    (and they never laugh at how you throw).
  • Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
  • Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
  • You can train a dog.
  • Dogs understand what "no" means.
  • Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
  • Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
  • Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
  • You can house train a dog.
  • Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
  • Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
  • Dogs are nice to your relatives.
  • Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
  • Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
  • Dogs admit it when they're lost.
  • Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
  • Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
  • Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
  • Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
  • You can force a dog to take a bath.

    HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

  • Both take up too much space on the bed.
  • Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
  • Both are threatened by their own kind.
  • Both like to chew wood.
  • Both mark their territory.
  • Both are bad at asking you questions.
  • Neither tells you what's bothering them.
  • Both tend to smell riper with age.
  • The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
  • Neither do dishes.
  • Both fart shamelessly.
  • Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
  • Both like dominance games.
  • Both are suspicious of the postman.
  • Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
  • Neither understands what you see in cats.
  • Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

    WHY MEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

  • Men only have two feet to track in mud.
  • Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
  • Men open their own cans.
  • Dogs have dog breath ALL the time
  • Men can do math stuff.
  • Holiday Inns accept men.
  • Men don't eat cat turds on the sly.


 
 

© 09/23/06