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POLITICIANS

The Clintons Joke Page

  Fall Collection 2006


Welcome!! This page is for my husband and all his soul mates who will never believe that who ever is in office, is the right choice, regardless of who they may be. If Bill & "Billary" get elected for another four years, then we'll see this page grow. If not, look for a new one on the so called "winner".

Join the party and submit your favorite. My thanks to the person whose file the page originally came from.

  • Bill Clinton was walking down a beach when he came upon a bottle. He picked up the bottle and opened it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "Oh thank you Master! I have been stuck in that bottle for nearly 100 years I will grant you one wish."
    "Well" say's Bill "I think I'll wish for world peace." The genie says "Well let me see this world." So Bill pulls out a map and shows her. "Oh," says the genie "I can't do that! I'm only a Beginner genie. Let's try something a little easier.
    "Alright" says Bill "I want my wife to be the most beautiful person on the planet." The genie says "well let me see a picture of her." So Bill pulls out a picture from his wallet and shows her. The genie gets this weird look on her face and says "Let me see what I can do with that world peace thing!
     

  • Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. the umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, and suddenly Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and unto the field. The stunned umpire shouts, "No, Mr. President. I said 'Throw the first pitch!'"
     

  • Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's specials are chicken with almandine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.
    The waiter nods, "And the vegetable?" he asks.
    "Oh, he'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
     

  • Q: Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
    A: The nation.
     

  • Did you hear about Kentucky Fried Chicken's Hillary combo meal?
    2 small breasts, 2 large thighs, and 2 left wings
     

  • Did ya'll know that President Clinton was a test tube baby.
    Just goes to show that even before he was born he wasn't worth a fuck!
     

  • A guy goes into the saloon in a little town in Montana. He has a few beers and then he says "Clinton is a horse's ass!" and the guy standing next to him bashes him upside the head. After he recovers from that and has a few more, he says "Clinton and his boss Hillary are both horses' asses". Several people give him dirty looks, and the two nearest guys beat the shit out of him. A few minutes later he recovers, looks around the room and yells, "I still say Clinton is a horse's ass!!". Everybody in the place jumps him, and he is beaten to a pulp.
    Hours later, he wakes up and everyone is gone except for the bartender. "WOW", he says, "I didn't know there were that many people left who were stupid enough to be democrats. The bartender says, "Well, there wasn't a democrat in the house - they're all horse ranchers."
     

  • President Clinton is out walking on the White House lawn on Christmas morning, when he finds a message written in the snow, saying "Bill is a bastard!"
    Understandably worried, he calls in the CIA to investigate. They take photographs and samples and agree to report back the next day. The next day, Bob the CIA chief comes to the oval office to see the president and says, "I'm afraid we've got some bad news for you. We've analyzed the message, and it's written in urine.""
    "Oh no" says Bill, "what an insult. Right here on the White House lawn."
    "I'm afraid it gets worse Mr. President. We're tested the urine and it belongs to Al Gore, the Vice President."
    "I can't believe it. My best friend." "There's more, sir. It's Hillary's hand-writing."
     

  • Q: Why is President Clinton in a bad mood?
    A: P.M.S.
     

  • Q: Why did Bubba and Hillary only have one kid?
    A: Vince Foster is dead.
     

  • Q: Do you know why they outlawed mini skirts in the White House?
    A: So Hillary's balls wont show.
     

  • Q: What's the difference between Jane Fonda and Bill Clinton?
    A: Fonda went to Vietnam.
     

  • There are no real jokes ABOUT Bill, he IS the joke.
     

  • Bill is seen leaving the Whitehouse one afternoon with a puppy on a leash. A bystander hollers "Good looking dog, Mr. President". Bill smiles and responds "Thanks. I got him for Hillary". The bystander shouts back "NICE TRADE!"

Thanks To Our Contributors:

Karen Triplett


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09/23/06