POLITICIANS

When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash.

After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in.

But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?" Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that times is not that bad considering the number of years we've been together." They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"

Bill answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash."

Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders.

The President asked for a whiskey & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.

The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!".

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice.......

Bill is jogging one evening and passes a hooker on a street corner. He stops and asks how much. She says $100. He says all he has is $10 and moves on. Next evening, Bill and Hillary are out walking and pass by the same hooker. She shouts "See what you get for $10!"

Hillary Clinton as part of her health care task force, was taking a tour of a hospital one day. The nurses and administrative people were very pleasant, and systematically took her from ward to ward, showing her all the various types of medical emergencies they were prepared to meet. Finally, they reached the top floor. The tour guide said, "Now I must warn you, Mrs. Clinton, that some of the things you are about to see might seem shocking. But that's the price of modern medicine, sometimes." The First Lady said, "I understand. Besides, I'm a lawyer, I've seen everything".

And so they entered the ward and proceeded down the hall. Mrs. Clinton would take a quick peek into each room, and move on to the next. Everything seemed pretty normal, and she was beginning to wonder what there was around here that was so shocking, when suddenly she opened a door and was confronted by a patient masturbating furiously. Startled, she back out of the room and closed the door. "My goodness!" she exclaimed.

"Yes," said the guide, "that's a very sad case. That man is actually allergic to his own sperm. If he didn't masturbate continuously, he would have an allergic reaction and die! But don't worry, modern medicine will find a cure eventually." And they proceeded down the hall.

Finally, they came to the last door, and Mrs. Clinton opened it and went in, and what did she see but a nurse giving a blowjob to a patient. Again startled, she backed out and closed the door. "Good Heavens!" she said.

The guide commented, "Yes.....that man actually has the same ailment as the one you saw earlier. The difference is that this patient has insurance."