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Do you know what the most popular game in
Swallow The Leader -- played primarily in the oral office.
Q: What does Monica and a Pepsi machine have in common?
A: They both have a slot saying insert bill here.
A poll of 1000 women in the Washington area were asked if they would ever
sleep with President Clinton, 97% of them said never again!
Fresh off of the Associated Press Wire.....
AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial and stated her mission to rise above the allegations:
"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face.
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her
class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly
identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off.
Hillary is waiting at the pearly gates and St. Peter comes up and says, "I know you were somebody down on Earth, but you are just like everyone else up here, so you will have to wait your turn. Hillary says she understands and takes a seat where she notices this wall covered with clocks. She also notices that every now and then, different clocks jump 15 minutes ahead.
When St. Peter returns, Hillary says, "What's with all the clocks?"
St. Peter replies, "Well, each clock represents a man back on Earth."
"Why is it that some of the clocks skip ahead 15 minutes?" she inquires.
"Every time a clock skips, that means that a man has committed adultery," answers St. Peter.
"Which one is my husband's clock?" inquires Hillary.
"God has that one in his office," answers St. Peter. "He uses it as a fan."
He told her to lie in a new position.
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and President Clinton were on a fishing boat.
Due to a mix up in paperwork, the Pope went to Hell and Clinton went to Heaven. The Pope went to the devil and explained the mix up. The devil said he would look into it but that it would take a few days.
A week later, the devil tells
the Pope that everything has been straightened out and points out a set of
escalators, explaining that they would take him to heaven. As the Pope is going
up he meets Clinton coming down. The Pope exclaims "I can't wait to meet the
Virgin Mary. I've waited all my life for this." Clinton blushes and replies
"You're a week late father."